RSD FAIRY UPDATES

JUNE 4, 2012~  


A LOT HAS HAPPENED IN THE 9+ months since I last wrote. I don't remember if I wrote that I moved back to the foster home in Junction City back in October or not?? It's gone pretty well. I was able to get my own dog. He was a chiuiauia named scooby and he was a sweetie, but about a month in he ended up biting my nurse so the owners of the home said I had to get rid of him because they couldn't take the chance of being sued. I understand where they were coming from but it was sad. I found him a real good home right away and I've recently heard that he's doing real well!


I'm getting ready to move again this coming sunday. I'm moving into a mobile home with my ex sister in law; Valerie. We've known each other since I was 12. I'm excited to be getting out of the foster care system as I'm not needy nor old enough for it, as far as I'm concerned.


The state will provide a caregiver and I'll get food stamps again. My rent will only be $350/mo. which is $200 less than I was paying here. it'll be nice to be able to go shopping once in a while and save a little each month so I can eventually go down to so. california and visit my Mom and Vincent.

I have recently learned a lot more about RSD and the various symptoms that can accompany it.  The Sympathetic Nervous System controls the functions of the body that we don't have control over, due to this I have discovered that my mucous membranes aren't producing enuf saliva, which is why I have had to suck on hard candies constantly for years. I thought it was due to the meds I take, but it's far worse than that and not only that but I have a hard time swallowing due to this and have to swallow food with water.
I also developed chronic dry eye and was told it was also due to the RSD. Now I have to use restasis drops twice a day for the rest of my life.


I also have developed Osteoporosis in my spine and hips. Now, this is quite common, but not at 48 years old. I also have DDD now; (Degenerative Disc Disease) all up my spine.
What the hey??????? I'm not even 50 and I'm falling apart!


I still have the same Dr. who isn't treating my pain adequitley, so I haven't been able to function very well. Why can't these quacks realize that people who are truly in severe chronic pain need the meds to do anything? Just riding the van to the store causes my legs, feet and back to flare up, let alone shopping. By the time I get there I can only shop for a short amount of time then, I have to turn around and go home. WAAAAAAAA!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!


I feel like a whine-bag, but actually I feel it's important that we share what's going on with our RSD so others with this can be informed.  We need to stick together and help each other in any way we can.

Emotions and Pain

Well I snapped at Ron, (one of the other residents here) this morning just for playing his music too loud! I feel bad, but people just don't understand that noises cause our pain to get worse.  It feels like all the nerves in my body are vibrating and it makes me very irritable.

I wish this weren't so, I don't like snapping at people!  I prefer to be as pleasant as possible to people at all times, but sometimes the pain just makes me irritable and I can't control it, though I do try!  I know it sounds like an excuse, but believe me; it's the truth!
My pain level in the past 2 weeks has been much worse.  I think it has something to do with: A. the stress of waiting to go to a new Doctor: B. the horribly cold, wet, windy weather we're having and: C. Tiffany;One of the caregivers, has moved out!
She left yesterday and it was really heart-wrenching!  She was such a sweet, caring presence here.  But, she's onto bigger and better things!  She joined the Air Force and is getting ready to take off for boot camp in a couple of weeks.  She's going to be working in Intelligence, so I don't really worry too much about her getting hurt overseas!
With any luck, she wont even go over there!  But, I'll be praying for her!  I've only known her for 2 months, but I really care about her like one of my kids!

The state nurse is coming to see me this thursday.  She's been seeing me at least once a month for over 2 years now. Diane is great!  She's been there through all the crap! and can attest to the fact that I'm not an addict and I've never "Injected" my meds, as that caregiver said!  I'm praying a few words on my behalf to this new Doctor will help my case and make him comfortable enough to prescribe me something for this horrible pain!  No one could possibly understand what I'm going through on a daily basis.  People see my fake facade I put on and think I'm just fine, but inside I'm screaming!
I learned a long time ago that showing others you're in pain only causes them to show you one of two faces: Pity or Doubt! Neither of which I can tolerate.  I hide my pain well! Not just physical pain either, but emotional.  For the most part, people really don't want to see or hear about your problems!I find this to be unfortunate, but we, as a society, has become intolerant to the suffering around us.
I often wonder if it could possibly get any worse?  Or maybe somehow, someday, it will get better?  All we can do is try to get through to others around us and Pray!